Dear Rat Brain,
Here’s a (terrible) picture of you that I drew during lunch at work, where I know you like to go a bit mental.
It’s only been a little over a week now so it’s not entirely surprising you’d feel like you’re some kind of ignorant alien – like you have no idea what you’re doing. That’s how we operated throughout most of university after all… And secondary school…
(And primary school? Who knows).
What if I don’t belong here? What if they find out I don’t know what the hell I’m doing? What if they realise I’m mentally about five years old and whenever I do things right it’s a complete accident? What if I mess up?
Obviously, it doesn’t matter to you that you get good grades, that you come up with good ideas, or that you can explain concepts to people when they need it. It doesn’t matter that you’re on top of your work. It doesn’t matter that when stuff goes wrong you know how to fix it.
It takes longer than a week to fit into any workplace, let alone your first one. But you’re not willing to put in that time to be bad so you can eventually be good. You’re also not willing to realise that no one else knows what the hell they’re doing either; the standards you set for others are not the standards you set for yourself.
When you’re always aiming for impossible imperfection, is there any wonder you always feel like a failure?