Taking Stock of Your Life – The Inventory Exercise

Resources, Values based living

 

The inventory exercise comes from a video by mental health fitness coach Mark Freeman.  He goes into more detail about it in his book but in short, it involves mapping out two things: 1) how you currently spend your time and 2) how you would ideally spend your time. The idea is to gain visibility on where you’re wasting time on compulsions/unhelpful actions, and what you actually value in life. And then take steps to align the two inventories.

I’ve done this at numerous periods during my life, and it’s been helpful to take stock of where my time is going, and also how quickly you can slide back into old habits if you’re not careful.

Here’s my inventory at the beginning of this year. Suffice to say, I was going through a rough time. But nonetheless, very aware of my compulsions and my time disappearing into them.

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Jan/Feb 2018

My inventory just after moving, before I started my job. I remember being extremely pleased with myself as my inventory was finally starting to look the way I wished it would.

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14th June 2018

And then here’s my most recent inventory, from this week – a few months into this job.

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21st August 2018

 

It’s certainly better than it would have been a month ago; however, I’ve fallen very quickly back into compulsions, rumination, and moved away from spending time where I value. It’s been harder working out where to spend time with work – I need to define my values more in that area. Nonetheless, every time I do this exercise I gain a clearer idea of what I actually value and how that translates into values.

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My ideal inventory – Aug 2018

 

Understanding mental health: lessons from UX

Levelling Up and Productivity, Values based living

I love a good analogy.

(I mean of course I do – I’m a linguist. I love the interplay between understanding, language, and how the metaphors we use can change our perception of a situation. But we already knew I’m a nerd)

Mental health is notoriously difficult to discuss, but one thing that can make it more accessible is finding the right metaphor or analogy to guide your thinking. Mark Freeman (who we all know I love) is particularly good at this. One of my favourites is the analogy he makes between mental health and learning to swim. If you don’t know how to swim, then it’s unsurprising you might start drowning – but it wouldn’t mean you have a “drowning disorder” or there’s something wrong with you. Similarly, he draws comparisons between mental and physical health: both require targeted, sweaty practice on different skills. If you stop exercising, you’ll become unfit. Simple as that.

I’ve only been a UX researcher for a few months now but even then I’m starting to see the overlap between the UX principles I’ve had to learn and my approach to mental health. Done well, this kind of research is a wholly scientific approach, rooted in understanding how people feel, and generally being curious about people.

And done well, a holistic approach to mental health can be the same way.

The main principle I’m focusing on today is this: validate/violate your assumptions with evidence.

In UX research, you might have an assumption about what’s going to happen, or how users are going to behave when faced with a situation. Hunches are good. Having a decent idea of where you’re going helps you connect with the users of your product, saving precious time and resources in research.

However, these insights are far, far stronger after being properly validated with actual data. Observation (in person or remotely), surveys, etc. You have to actually talk to people, otherwise you’re probably going to be way off.

Similarly, with mental health, it helps to have a similarly curious mind and be open to the outcome. I first heard about the concept of ‘expectancy violation’ on episode 107 of the OCD stories with Dr Kevin Chapman discussing Exposure and Response Prevention (around 14:11). As it pertains to anxiety, this is rooted in a simple idea: identifying what outcome you are afraid will happen, and then are you afraid will happen? That you’ll lose control? Throw up? Wet yourself? Hurt someone?

With anxiety this can get extreme – avoiding certain foods, certain places, certain people, certain feelings, because we assume we can’t deal with it. In ERP, we’re exposed to the situation that we’re afraid of being in for as long as possible, to violate our assumption that we’re going to lose control. Our assumptions adjust based on this new evidence.

Have you ever properly observed how you respond when you actually have to face a fear, instead of avoiding it? Do you know how distressed something actually makes you feel, or are you just assuming? When carrying out a task, what triggers make you mentally X out? Have you ever actually questioned the assumptions you have about yourself, and your own ability to handle a task that seems unfathomable?

Often, we go into a situation and either predict how we’re going to react without evidence. Or, we ignore that evidence, in favour of supporting a narrative that paints us as weak or incapable. Similarly, it can be tempting to ignore an insight from UX research that doesn’t fit with preconceived notions of the client base. It might not be rooted in a few of losing control, but it’s certainly rooted in a reluctance to change.

But in the end, empathy beats intuition. 

 

 

DRB: I’m sorry I made you sick.

Rat Brain, Self Care

Dear Rat Brain,

I’m sorry I made you (well, both of us) sick. I know I’ve been expecting it for a few months now, but it’s still somewhat down to me. And viruses.

I often do this by ignoring stress, telling you to shut up and delaying illness until it’s ‘convenient’ to handle it. Except there’s never a convenient time to be ill so eventually I just crumble. Like clockwork, I always get an extremely bad cold after an extended period of stress – several breakups, starting work, finishing my dissertations/exams… It’s happened every time. I’m literally forced to rest.

I’ve luckily never had pneumonia, bronchitis or anything like that, so these illnesses were just bad enough to keep me from functioning without actually causing me long-term harm. So I’d get over it, and just carry on the way I was. As a result, sometimes I’d just resist the illness entirely, making it worse. Some colds have gone on for weeks because of it. Once my A levels were finished I had an asthma attack for the first time after ten years. During my second year of university I was literally getting a new cold every 2 weeks. Not surprisingly these were both incredibly turbulent times in my life.

Not surprisingly, when I’m kind to myself and accept that I’m ill quickly, I recover a lot faster. This is kind of following on from my last letter to you, but if I hadn’t told you to shut up and go away in the first place we wouldn’t be in such a mess every few months. I largely ignore you when you want me to rest or stop giving myself such a hard fucking time.

Not surprising that you end up flicking the kill switch on both of us just so I’ll go to fucking bed.